The Affair Read online

  “You haven’t been around much. I think even if you pretend to sleep here occasionally, the children know something’s up. Maybe not Laure, but definitely Sylvie. I hope you tell them about the baby before someone else does.” He was lucky she hadn’t. She was leaving it to him. Miraculously, no one else had told them. And Nadia didn’t give them access to the internet. They were young enough that his affair with Pascale was the kind of unsavory gossip parents didn’t share with children their age. But sooner or later someone would.

  “Why would anyone do something like that?” He looked shocked. “Tell them, I mean. They’re children.”

  “It happens. People like to talk about the miseries of others.” He got up and left a few minutes later, and Nadia stood on the terrace, thinking about what she had just done. A page had turned. It had taken three months for her to get there. She had asked him to move out. She wanted to feel proud of herself, and thought she would. But she didn’t. She just felt sad.

  * * *

  —

  Nadia had to go to her office the next day, and their babysitter called while they were having breakfast. She said she had eaten sushi the night before, and was violently ill. The housekeeper was on vacation, and Nadia thought of taking the girls to the office with her, but it was distracting, and she needed to catch up on her work. She had to schedule a meeting with her client in London. She called the wife of the guardian downstairs, and asked if she could stay with the girls, at least until lunchtime. She was going to bring her work home with her after that. She had no other solution. The guardian’s wife came upstairs, and Nadia hurried out five minutes later, and promised to be home by one. They were going to go for a walk in the Tuileries Garden to get some air while she was at work.

  Nadia came back promptly, and the apartment was strangely silent when she walked in. She thought they were still out, and was surprised to see both girls sitting on the living room couch with somber faces. She thanked the guardian’s wife, who told her the girls were tired from their walk. She said she had offered them lunch, but they weren’t hungry. Nadia paid her and a few minutes later, she left. She was kind of an old biddy, always meddling in everyone’s business, but she was helpful from time to time.

  “Are you feeling okay?” she asked them both, and they nodded. She thought maybe they were still tired from the trip. They were sitting like statues, and Sylvie looked at her with enormous eyes and burst into tears. Her mother rushed over to her and took her in her arms.

  “What happened? Was Madame Martin mean to you? Did she tell you scary stories?” People did stupid things sometimes, and by then Laure was crying too.

  “Madame Martin said that Papa is having a baby with another lady…an actress…and you’re probably going to get a divorce. Is that true?” Sylvie wailed, and Laure echoed her, then clung to her mother and sister as though they were in a lifeboat and she was afraid of falling out.

  “Whoa…” Nadia didn’t answer for a minute, while she thought about what to do. Nicolas had left her with his mess to clean up, and she was on the front lines now. She knew they would remember what she said forever. “First of all, let’s all take a deep breath and calm down. You know that Papa loves you, and I do too. Do you know that?” They both nodded, and she wiped the tears off their faces. “And sometimes even grown-ups do silly things. Papa has a friend right now who he likes a lot. She’s very young and very pretty, and it’s true, he’s having a baby with her. But that doesn’t change how he feels about you,” she said seriously.

  “Are they coming to live with us?” Laure wanted to know.

  “No, they’re not.”

  “Is the baby a boy or a girl?” Laure again.

  “A boy.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “I don’t think he has a name yet.”

  “I don’t like boys,” Laure said definitely while Sylvie stared at her mother with a ravaged expression, as though the world as she knew it had come to an end. She wasn’t wrong.

  “Are you and Papa getting a divorce?” Sylvie asked her.

  She hesitated for a minute, she didn’t want to lie. “Not right now. Things have been very confusing, with his friend and the baby. I think Papa is going to get his own apartment while he figures everything out,” or live with Pascale, which she didn’t say to them.

  “Does he want to marry her?”

  “I don’t know,” Nadia said honestly.

  “Do you hate him now?” Sylvie asked her.

  “No, I don’t. I’m sad that things are confused and difficult, but I don’t hate your father.”

  “Do you hate his friend?” Nadia shook her head in answer.

  “Why don’t they give the baby away?” Sylvie suggested. It was a somewhat sophisticated concept for a ten-year-old.

  “I’m sure they want the baby,” Nadia said, trying not to sound judgmental.

  “Why did Papa do that, if he has us? He doesn’t need a baby.” She looked devastated.

  “You’ll have to ask Papa that.” She wasn’t going to venture into those waters. Let him explain it, if he could.

  “Will we see him if he moves to his own apartment?” Laure was worried.

  “Of course. You can visit him there, and he can still come here to see you.” Both girls were relieved when she said that it wasn’t a full-on war. But everything they’d heard was confusing. They needed to hear from their father now.

  She made the girls little thin chicken sandwiches, and they ate them at the kitchen table, then they went to their rooms. She had to call her lawyer then and cancel her appointment. With no sitter, and her children in a panic, she couldn’t get to the appointment, and would have to reschedule it later. Then she called Nicolas on his cell.

  “Where are you?” she asked when he answered.

  “Why? Is something wrong? I’m on my way to see my editor.”

  “Yes, something is wrong. The guardian’s wife told the girls about Pascale and the baby. They’ve been crying for the last two hours. You need to talk to them. It’s face-the-music time.” He groaned at the other end.

  “Christ, why did that have to happen now? How did she get her hands on them?”

  “I needed her to babysit this morning. They looked like they’d been shot when I got home. I’ve done what I can to calm things down. It’s your turn now. Get your ass over here, and deal with it.”

  “Okay,” he said. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Nadia, I’m sorry.”

  “So am I.” For once, she didn’t sound gentle.

  He got there precisely as he said, fifteen minutes later, and she left the girls alone with him, and went to her office in the apartment. She answered emails to distract herself from what was happening. But Nicolas and Pascale had crossed another line, and her kids were paying the price now, not just her, or Nicolas. All she could think of was their ravaged faces in the living room when she got home. She felt sick. And this time, she did hate him for what he’d done.

  * * *

  —

  The girls were very subdued when their father left the apartment. He explained the situation very much the way their mother had. And after he spoke to them, he made a decision to spend two weeks at the château with them. He needed to get his house in order. He invited Nadia to come, and she said she preferred to stay in the city. They should be with him now. He realized at last how serious this was for them. He was quiet and somber when he called Nadia and told her his plans and that he’d pick them up the following morning.

  “Will Pascale be there?” she asked in a tense voice.

  “No. I want to be with them now, without her.” At least he had figured out that much. He knew that Nadia’s family was coming out mid-August, and told her that he would give her back the girls then, and she could use the château for the rest of their vacation, until the end of August. “They should probably meet Pascale, but s
he’s going to Brittany in September to stay with her mother until she has the baby. She’s having it there.”

  “Maybe she can meet them after the baby,” Nadia suggested.

  She packed their suitcases that night, and Nicolas picked them up in the morning. They were happy to see him, and to be spending two weeks with him at the château. He thanked Nadia quietly before he left.

  “Thank you for not making it any worse than it already is.”

  “I’m doing it for them,” she said in a whisper. He nodded and after she kissed the girls goodbye, they took off with their father.

  She called her lawyer again after they’d gone, for another appointment, and was told by his secretary that he had left on vacation that morning, and would be gone until the first of September. The legal arrangements would have to wait. She didn’t want to start from the very beginning with a new lawyer and she liked the one she had. They were physically separated for now anyway, so the meeting with the lawyer wasn’t crucial and could wait a month.

  And then she called her sisters and told them what had happened. She called Venetia first.

  “Oh shit. You were afraid of someone telling them.”

  “All of France is talking about them. It’s not surprising.” There were pictures of Pascale pregnant on the front page of every tabloid. And several of them with Nicolas beside her in Saint-Tropez.

  “Are the girls okay?” Venetia asked her.

  “Relatively. This is a huge blow to them, and a hell of a surprise. They’ve never even met her. I hope he handles this intelligently while he has them.”

  “I’m sorry, Nadia. They’ll be okay. Kids come through worse. They’re resilient.” Nadia hoped her sister was right. Athena said pretty much the same. Nadia was glad they’d had a nice vacation before this happened.

  Sylvie and Laure called her that night. They seemed happier than when she’d last seen them, and they’d had a nice day with their father. They’d gone for a long bike ride and swam in the pool, then cooked dinner together.

  “Papa says he loves us and he loves you too,” Laure said as soon as she got on the phone.

  “Of course he loves you, silly.” She tried to keep it light, but Sylvie sounded more serious and suddenly very grown up. She had been catapulted into instant adulthood by the past twenty-four hours’ revelations.

  “Papa says he doesn’t want a divorce.” Sylvie sounded as though she was his emissary. He didn’t want a divorce, just a mistress and a baby and a wife.

  “Why don’t you forget all that right now, and enjoy your time with Papa.”

  “Are you going to divorce him?” She was pressing for answers now. Her whole world had come apart, and she wanted to put it back together as quickly as she could.

  “We haven’t figured any of that out yet. Nothing is going to happen right now,” not with her attorney on vacation for all of August. Nadia was frustrated about that. She had missed her appointment with him on the last day before his vacation. But her kids had been hysterical and she had no sitter. Now Nicolas was telling them how much he didn’t want a divorce, so she would end up being the bad guy, and he the victim, in their eyes. “I want you to have fun with Papa for the next two weeks. Try to forget all the rest.” But Sylvie couldn’t, any more than she could.

  Nicolas got on the phone after Sylvie finished talking to her, and Nadia spoke to him in a low angry growl.

  “If you try to blame me for this, and make me look like the bad guy here, I swear, I will never speak to you again. This is all your doing, even yesterday, because you were never honest with them. You clean this up now, and don’t try to blame me. Is that clear?”

  “Yes, of course, I’m sorry, I just thought…”

  “Good. I’m glad we understand each other,” she said and hung up on him. Enough was enough. She was fed up with his self-indulgence, cowardice, and games.

  Chapter 9

  While Nicolas was at the château with the girls, Paris in August was peaceful and almost deserted. Everyone was gone. Stores, restaurants, and businesses were closed. It was a skeleton city. Nadia hadn’t been there in the heart of the summer for a long time, and she liked it. She walked everywhere. She went to her office and caught up on her files. Factories were closed, so nothing could be ordered, but she felt as though she were cleaning up her life and getting control of it before the fall, after three months of madness since May.

  Most of all, she was trying to decide what she wanted to do. She spoke to her sisters regularly. Olivia continued to tell her to divorce Nicolas. Venetia told her to fight for him if she still loved him. Athena told her that she would be fine even if she wound up alone. She hadn’t spoken to her mother as much recently. Rose was up to her neck in the October issue. The September issue was due out at the end of the month, and Rose was still upset about it. For the first time, she wasn’t looking forward to it. All she could think about was the cover feature, with the joint interview and photographs of her son-in-law and his pregnant mistress. She wished they hadn’t done the story, but it couldn’t be avoided, and she dreaded Nadia’s reaction to it, even though she had sweetly agreed to it and said it didn’t matter.

  Nadia missed her children for the two weeks they were at the château with their father, but it was also a relief not to have to be responsible for anyone, eat at set times, come home on time from the office, and make sure they were happy, safe, fed, and entertained. She had been bracing herself for when they would hear about their father. Now the news was out, and there was nothing she could do about it. It was up to him now. He had to clean up his own mess with them.

  In the middle of the month, there was a change of shifts at the château. Nicolas left the day before Nadia’s sisters and their families were due to arrive. Nadia planned it so that she would miss him. The housekeeper spent the afternoon with the girls after Nicolas left for Saint-Tropez in the morning. Nadia arrived at dinnertime. Sylvie and Laure were thrilled to see her, and she was equally so to see them. They didn’t mention Pascale and the baby until after dinner, and then Sylvie cautiously brought it up.

  “Papa says that his friend is leaving the baby in Bretagne with her mother. The grandmother is going to take care of him, so we won’t have to see him,” Sylvie said, sounding relieved. “Papa is going to visit him, and send him presents, but he won’t come to Paris until he’s older.” Nadia found that interesting. He was intending to be an absentee father to this baby. Apparently Pascale wasn’t going to stay with the baby either. Her mother was going to redeem herself by caring for her grandson, to atone for not raising her daughter. Not having the baby with them would give Nicolas and Pascale more time with each other, without being tied down to an infant. Clearly, Pascale had no intention of spending time with her baby, or adapting to motherhood. “Papa says she’s having it in seven weeks,” Sylvie informed her mother, so obviously he had been talking to them about it. Nadia had avoided speaking to him while the girls were with him, and communicated by text and email when she had to. It was a relief not to hear his voice or see his pleading face when he tried to convince her not to give up on him. For two whole weeks, for the first time in months, she had tried to focus on herself.

  When Venetia and her troops arrived, it was like an invading army at the château. Her sons, Jack and Seth, climbed trees and chased each other around the orchards. India tried to keep up with Sylvie and Laure, and was a sturdy little thing. She fell into the pool after lunch on the first day, and came up spluttering, but she didn’t cry, and her father jumped in immediately and fished her out. And after that, she jumped in fearlessly on her own, wanting to prove how brave and grown up she was.

  “She’s going to be a skydiver or a stunt pilot or something when she grows up. She terrifies me, she’s fearless,” Venetia said, grinning at her daughter.

  Olivia and Harley arrived a few hours later, looking very circumspect and somewhat exhausted from the fl
ight. Will was happy to be there. Harley went to take a nap shortly after they arrived, and Will challenged his uncle Ben to a chess game. He had brought his travel set with him and was an expert player. Will was more comfortable with adults than Venetia’s sons. Jack, Venetia’s oldest son, the same age as Will, usually managed to entice him into mischief eventually, and her younger son, Seth, tagged along. Sylvie loved to tease Seth since he was the same age and she liked him a lot. They blended into a perfect group, with lots of squeals and splashing in the pool, while their parents watched them and chatted animatedly.

  The three sisters were happy to see each other, and no one mentioned Nicolas. Ben and Venetia admitted to Olivia that they missed him. He was always a happy addition to the group. They FaceTimed Athena at dinnertime so she didn’t feel left out. It was morning for her, and she was on her way to the studio for her show, since their hiatus was over, which was why she couldn’t come to France.

  “We should rent a house together somewhere next summer, maybe Italy,” Venetia suggested, since the château belonged to Nicolas and she didn’t know if Nadia would have use of it if they got divorced. And it appeared that they were going to. Nadia was waiting for her attorney to get back to start proceedings.

  Olivia went to wake Harley from his nap before he slept too long and wouldn’t adjust to the time change. Venetia and Nadia found themselves staring at Will reading at the side of the pool, and the two sisters had the same thought and whispered to each other.

  “Every time I see him now, I think of what Olivia told us on the Fourth of July weekend,” about Harley not really being his father. Venetia said it so softly that only Nadia could hear her.

  “I know. I feel guilty, but I keep thinking about it too. I wish she hadn’t told us,” Nadia responded.